Friday, July 15, 2011

365 Days of Heaven and Hell

I know that's not a "pretty" title. But tomorrow would be Sarah's birthday.
365 days ago  I held her in my arms.
365 days ago I could kiss her little face and hold her little hand in mine.
365 days ago July 16, 2010 was one of the best days of my life when my little princess finally came to us.
365 days ago, July 17, 2010 was the worst day of my life when she left us to go home to be with Jesus.

I can't put into words the deep ache I have in my heart for her. I miss her more and more with every passing day.
There is a dark empty place I have for her within my soul that can only be touched by my Heavenly Daddy.
It hurts so badly, but he holds my heart so tenderly in his hands.
There are moments that go by, when grief explodes over me like a crashing wave, and I long to go home to be with her and to be in the arms of Jesus myself.
I long to go to the place where God shall wipe away all tears from my eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.....
I know this is not my home.

I am so thankful for the people that God has placed in my life.
Never underestimate how God may use you, my friend, to touch the heart of another to reveal Christ's love in a very real and special way.

I have been so blessed by the outpouring of love from the body of Christ and the prayers that dear friends have lifted up on behalf of my family. I know that they have helped to sustain me, they have been a life line to me.

Some verses that were shared with me this week have been:

Romans 1:9~
God knows how often I pray for you. Day and night I bring you and your needs in prayer to God...

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I hope all of you have special friends like these who will help you along in your journey and always be pointing you to our Heavenly Father who loves you more than words can say.

I'm going to include a post from one of my closest friends for you to also read. She has been one who has continued to walk through the fire with me without being afraid of seeing my tears. She has helped me to hang onto life and to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Here are a couple of excerpts: 
Did you realized that when you walk with someone who is oppressed you are directly involved in carrying out the law of Christ?  Jesus, Himself is being honored in your burden bearing.

Bearing one another's burdens is like being that tomato cage for someone.  The tomato plant will grow heavy and fall over if the support stick or cage is not placed around them.  The best fruit will come when the plant is staked and has the support it needs!  Be the stake for someone.  Attach yourself to the one God is showing you and stake yourself there as long as it takes!  Ask God for someone who can act as a stake for you--one who will encourage you to stand straight and tall in God--one who will be a support as you grow and bear fruit for God.

I do hope that you take time to read what she has written, and I encourage you to be that person for someone who needs you as she has been that person for me. I encourage you to be that safe place for someone that God has placed in your life.

Don't be afraid to sit with someone while they cry. Don't be afraid to let them weep. Don't be afraid to hold their hand when they need it. Don't be afraid to "talk about it", they will let you know if they want to or not at that moment. Don't be afraid to "bring it up" Believe me, it's already there. Don't be afraid to just listen and not try to fix anything. Don't be afraid to offer an embrace. Don't be afraid of finding the right words to say,,,,you don't have to search for them,,,they really don't exist, just be there. Don't be afraid to look sorrow and grief in the eye with compassion and kindness.The worst thing you can do is pretend that there is no pain, and pretend like they aren't there. (that hurts badly)  Don't be afraid to offer a prayer. Don't be afraid to just be with them in the quietness.

Has the Lord not said:

Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour:

 I miss you sweet baby girl. I pray that Jesus will give you special birthday hugs and kisses from me and Daddy and that the angels will sing you a beautiful birthday song! I pray that your day will be filled with unspeakable joy as you delight in the presence of your Heavenly Daddy and that you will play and giggle among all the ever blooming flowers and be dazzled by all the beautiful colors in Heaven.
Always remember that I love you forever and dream of you every day. Some day we'll play and dance and sing together! Momma's voice will be a lot prettier in Heaven too! Can't wait!!
I love you sweet Sarah! Give Jesus a kiss from me!


  1. My dear, dear Erica. What a lovely tribute to your beautiful daughter. My heart aches for you. Words could never be enough.

    Sarahs garden is beautiful. Everything is bloomed & so, so pretty. Her face is so sweet, Erica.

    love to you my friend <3

  2. I don't think I can say anything except what others have said better. But you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers especially today and tomorrow.